In contemporary Japan, the term “otokonoko” (literally “male daughter”) has transcended mere cross-dressing and gender disruption to establish itself as a robust subcultural identity. This phenomenon — biological males pursuing feminine appearances — originates from the symbolic codification of “cute boys” in two-dimensional media such as animation and manga since the 2000s.

However, as this culture expanded from digital space and social media into the three-dimensional reality, participants have faced severe cognitive dissonance between “idealized fiction” and “inescapable physical and social reality.”

Furthermore, we explore how underlying misogyny (hatred of women) and maternal hatred are sublimated or distorted into the expressive form of “otokonoko,” drawing on theories by Ueno Chizuko and others. The existence of “otokonoko” represents both the forefront of self-expression in a diverse society and a mirror reflecting the spiritual conflicts of modern individuals refusing maturity.

The Codification of Two-Dimensional Representation and Physical Body Limitations

At the core of “otokonoko” culture lies the illusion of “perfect androgyny” constructed by two-dimensional media. “Otokonoko” in anime and manga are depicted as indistinguishable from females in skeletal structure, voice quality, and skin texture — yet this remains merely a combination of symbols. When actual participants attempt to implement these symbols onto their physical bodies, secondary sexual characteristics as biological males become the greatest barrier.

As this table demonstrates, fictional “otokonoko” are free from aging and biological constraints, while actual participants face relentless maintenance and the terror of emerging “masculine characteristics” with age. The tendency to depend on excessive plastic surgery, dietary restrictions, and image processing to bridge this gap ultimately perpetuates low-level states (anxiety and powerlessness) in the “22 Emotional Stages” discussed later.

The Coercion of “Effort” and the Stigma of “Failure” in Diverse Society

While the contemporary trend of respecting diversity appears to tolerate liminal beings like “otokonoko,” acceptance actually comes with “aesthetic conditions.” Within society or communities, individuals lacking sufficient “passing degree” (degree of appearing female) or deemed negligent in polishing their appearance are often excluded as “failures” or “uncanny beings.”

Pathological Lying and Construction of the “False Self”

A common psychological background among many individuals oriented toward “otokonoko” is Adult Children (AC) characteristics developed within dysfunctional families. In childhood, ACs acquire the habit of reflexively telling “small lies” to read parental moods and smooth situations. This is a survival strategy against fear of being scolded or to gain attention.

The “otokonoko” identity extends the “false self” employed by ACs — concealing the actual self (oneself as male) and presenting an idealized “cute girlish self.” Their acts of constructing characters on social media using processed images and settings are structurally identical to previously playing “good child” or “mascot (clown)” roles within the family.

Refusal of Maturity and the Dynamics of Responsibility Avoidance

The choice of “otokonoko” has aspects of psychological avoidance behavior against pressures demanded of adult males by society (economic responsibility, family support, maintaining masculinity, etc.). Amid growing criticism of traditional “toxic masculinity,” some men wish to remain in childlike irresponsible positions where being “boys are silly” is laughed off and forgiven.

Emotional Scale and Vibrational Discontinuity

Abraham’s “22 Emotional Stages” conceptualizes human emotions as energetic vibrations, hierarchically arranged from Stage 1 (joy, love, gratitude) to Stage 22 (despair, fear, powerlessness). According to this theory, each stage relates to adjacent emotions, and people stabilize emotionally by moving gradually through stages rather than leaping abruptly.

Mapping “otokonoko” participants’ emotional transitions onto this scale reveals their activity cycles violently oscillating between “elation (Stages 1-5)” and “exhaustion/self-loathing (Stages 20-22).”

The Paradoxical Energy Level of Anger and Self-Deprecation

A striking point in Abraham’s teachings is that Stage 16 “anger” has higher energy than Stage 21 “insecurity (self-deprecation).” Many “otokonoko” with AC tendencies are submerged in the swamp of “self-deprecation,” blaming themselves and feeling worthless. To escape this state requires temporarily raising energy by feeling “anger” toward external factors, climbing the emotional ladder.

Emotion as Navigation for Reality Creation

The 22 Emotional Stages are not merely mood classifications but a navigation system confirming whether one is creating their “desired reality.” If participants feel “freedom (Stage 1)” through cross-dressing, they are in a high vibrational state, becoming a guide attracting positive reality.

However, when based on “expectation (Stage 3)” or “impatience (Stage 12)” premised on others’ approval, it becomes an unstable state easily plummeting to “anxiety (Stage 20)” from slight criticism. To truly raise vibration requires finding “satisfaction (Stage 7)” or “gratitude (Stage 1)” toward one’s current state as-is, rather than fixating on external beauty or ugliness.

Domination and Identification Through Ueno Chizuko’s Misogyny Theory

Analyzing the “otokonoko” phenomenon inevitably confronts underlying misogyny (hatred of women). Ueno Chizuko defines misogyny as “contempt for women among men” and “self-hatred among women.” Male society establishes itself by treating women as “objects of possession (objects of sexual desire or tools for reproduction),” where men must continuously prove they are “not women.”

Yet “otokonoko” deviate from male society’s rules, attempting to identify as “female” themselves. Behind this behavior operate two contradictory psychological mechanisms.

Maternal Complicity and Internalization of Hatred

“Maternal complicity” refers to mothers’ dual nature — while suffering patriarchal oppression, speaking love to sons yet simultaneously guiding them into the system oppressing themselves. Sons receiving only “conditional love” from mothers in loveless home environments develop deep distrust toward women generally, becoming the root of misogyny.

The Chain of “Complications” and Self-Hatred

Just as misogyny among women manifests as “self-hatred,” men desiring feminization also harbor intense self-hatred toward “femininity” within themselves. This is a male version of the structure called “complicated women.”

The “femininity” they seek is not “real women” accompanied by physical rawness, daily life atmosphere, and aging — but “beauty as symbol” filtered through fiction. The contradiction of treating real women as objects of “jealousy” or “contempt” while being unable to reach that ideal image themselves further destabilizes participants’ mental states.

Demands for Passing Degree and Resistance to “Toxic Masculinity”

When “otokonoko” venture into society, battles with “weird person” gazes constantly occur. Particularly in contemporary society touting diversity, debates transgender women face in sports and public spaces (toilets, bathrooms, etc.) are not irrelevant to “otokonoko.” Women’s perspectives holding concerns about sexual violence and transgender perspectives receiving discriminatory looks clash intensely.

Invisible Terror in Public Spaces

Currently, many “otokonoko” lead daily lives quietly. Behaving inconspicuously without causing anxiety to others becomes their condition for social adaptation. Within this unfair debate, participants constantly feel they are “victims receiving discrimination (Stage 21: powerlessness)” while society views them as “exploiting privileged positions” — a massive perception gap.

Social Reintegration and Escape from Dependence

For “otokonoko” with strong AC tendencies, entering society and working becomes an extremely high hurdle. Among them, many wish for “jobs minimally involving people” or find outlets in “hikikomori (social withdrawal)” or “side businesses (mainly adult-related or social media monetization)” to escape work hardships.

Concrete Processes for Climbing the Emotional Scale

For participants submerged in despair (Stage 22) or anxiety (Stage 20) to “intentionally create” their lives, they must first accurately identify their current position.

• Emotional Identification: When despairing before a mirror, discern whether it’s “powerlessness (21)” or “anger toward one’s own body (16).”
• Discovering Relief Thoughts: Voice or write thoughts providing even slight relief — “I feel ugly now, but makeup skills are improving.”
• Reducing Resistance: Abandon high “resistance” of aiming for perfect femininity; introduce a permission process of aiming for “satisfaction (7)” level today.

Feeling “good” first is the key to attracting desired results (ideal appearance and good relationships). However, this doesn’t mean escapism. Rather, it demands extremely honest self-dialogue — recognizing negative emotions as-is and accepting them.

Overcoming AC and Reconstructing Boundaries

To resolve Adult Children difficulties requires acknowledging past wounds and “reeducating” oneself through process.

• Boundary Awareness: Separate others’ evaluations from self-worth. Understand social media “likes” don’t determine human value.
• Resolving Abandonment Anxiety: Against fear that “being truly known means being hated,” gradually practice revealing authentic self (self-disclosure), accumulating success experiences that lying isn’t necessary.
• Relaxing Perfectionism: Abandon “all-or-nothing” thinking unable to accept anything less than 100 points; permit imperfect self.

Sublation of Fiction and Reality: Avatar Society Prospects

In the future, with metaverse and VR technology proliferation, “avatar selves” separate from physical bodies will carry social weight. For “otokonoko” identity, this could become the definitive technological solution bridging fiction-reality divergence.